October 27, 2010
Sexual relationships, providential affairs, marriage, and the Principle

Linda Feher follows up on my question (which I read somewhere) about why there wasn’t a “Marriage of the Lamb” ceremony (or whatever you want to call it) for Hee-Jin Nim’s mother, and gives her perspective on the principled role of marriage and God’s blessing.

But Linda’s view is closer to a conventional Christian one than a Unificationist one, or at least there is a special exception made for providential events in the process of Rev. Moon’s becoming a true father and parent.

Illegitimate son #1: Hee Jin Nim

The church openly teaches about True Father’s second “wife,” Myung Hee Kim. They were never married, but the lecture about Father’s life normally contains an explanation about her, implying that Father consummated the relationship because God’s providence couldn’t wait for a legal technicality of his divorce, which his first wife might have held up for years.

Suppose Rev. Moon had in mind to have 12 children (or as many children as possible), that he could raise with his true parenting skills, and who would become a true family, a model of harmonious goodness for society, and 12 (or more) small Sun Myung Moons who could go on to accomplish great things that would be recognized by humankind. Should one person’s stubbornness interfere with this great mission?

Critics might argue that there shouldn’t be special exceptions for the messiah and that the model of a principled marriage be upheld (God even allowed the Fall, in order to uphold the integrity of the Principle), or even that the special “providential” reasons for starting a relationship with Myung Hee Kim were unconsciously influenced by Rev. Moon’s strong desire to share love with a partner. But members who have faith in Father’s infallibility aren’t swayed by such arguments. You either believe he’s perfect or you don’t.

Not always mentioned was the son they had together, Hee Jin Nim, who was killed in a tragic accident when he was 12 or 13 resulting from his sticking his head out the window of a train moving at full speed. I think he was traveling by himself.

The part about her declining to become True Mother because she was raped by a Japanese soldier makes sense in the context of old-fashioned Korean thinking.

I have to admit though that Linda has a point when she asks:

"By getting her pregnant without the public wedding ceremony he put her and their child in a position to be ostracized and rejected by society. Do you honestly think God wanted that?"

While it is true that there is a ceremony in this church for just about everything, and also true that there are often different ways of doing things that would be acceptable to God’s providence (Was Rev. Moon required to get Myung Hee Kim pregnant out of wedlock?), well, again, members who have faith in him accept that it was okay even though it seems to be against the way we’re supposed to do things in order to be in line with the Principle. Hopefully there won’t be too many people who interpret being a small Sun Myung Moon to mean following his actions in this case and justify it, as Hyo Jin Nim did.

Illegitimate son #2: Sammy Pak

Mrs. Won Bok Choi said she can’t give her testimony because there are too many secrets. One of them that’s not really much of a secret any more is that she was impregnated by True Father during his marriage to True Mother, and the son given to raise by Col. Pak’s family. This is Sammy Pak, of course. This has been confirmed many times, from older members (I think there’s even a reference on the web where Dan Fefferman is talking about it) to Un Jin Nim mentioning Sammy by (first) name on 60 Minutes even though Mike Wallace didn’t actually ask for his name. I think by now there are not very many members who are really honest with themselves who are still in denial about this, and I hope there are none who haven’t heard about it. But some people didn’t believe it at first because this whole affair was hidden from most members for a long time. It certainly wasn’t part of the “Life of Sun Myung Moon” lecture in the 7-day workshop! So this deception of withholding this important information from the members is more problematic for the church than for the Hee Jin Nim case. I don’t think the providential reason for why this was necessary has ever been explained. Sammy has asserted his rights as a son of Rev. Moon, but I’m pretty sure Father hasn’t dubbed him a “Nim.”

Illegitimate son #3?

Were there other illegitimate children or “adulterous” relationships? I don’t think so (Dan Fefferman believes in the stories about pikareun and the Six Marys, but I don’t think I do because it’s so obviously against the Principle). Some time after Sammy Pak was born, though, Father got the idea that there could be a providential reason for having a sexual relationship with some other sister (was it the wife of Jesus? - I can’t remember) and Mother and Ye Jin Nim strongly opposed it, and Father changed his mind.

Critics might say “Well, if it was providentially required, how could Father be talked out of it? Father always follows the providential course at the risk of his life, right?”

The implication is that if Father could be talked out of it, it wasn’t actually providentially required, and so why did Father have to impregnate Mrs. Choi? (Why was that case different?)

Some of these things are providential mysteries that we may never know.

Linda Feher wrote:

Why wasn’t there a “Marriage of the Lamb” ceremony for Hee-Jin Nim’s mother?

By Linda Feher

Someone asked;

Why wasn’t there a “Marriage of the Lamb” ceremony for Hee-Jin Nim’s mother? Good question, however lets take it one step further and ask the question, “Why wasn’t there any wedding of any kind between SMM and Myung Hee? Did it really matter if they were never married in the eyes of God, family and country?(http://www.tparents.org/library/unification/talks/feffermn/Fefferman-HeeJin.htm)After all, what is marriage anyway?  I believe that marriage is about making an offering, a promise and a commitment to God that we will love and cherish His son/daughter in a way that makes him happy and proud. You probably all think that as well, right?When a couple falls in love with each other they naturally want to be together and make a family together. But before they do that they want to take their relationship to God, offer it to Him and ask for His blessing on their union. The reason we don’t want to have sex before we are married is because when we take our relationship with our beloved before our Heavenly Parents (and I’m referring to our God in Heaven, our Creator, not Moon) we want to make sure we are taking our absolute best before God, right? As a couple we withhold from coupling/sex/intercourse because we want God’s blessing on our couples union “first”. To partake of the coupling before we offer our relationship to God and before we receive Gods blessing is to put our physical desires above our relationship and respect for God. When a couple has sex and then makes an offering of their union to God and asks for His blessing on their couple they are actually being dishonest with themselves and God. It’s not that we can’t have sex first and then ask for His blessing on our marriage, we can do that….but it’s kinda like opening all the gifts before Christmas, re-wrapping them and then acting surprised and happy on Christmas day. That kind of behavior is immature, self centered and self serving. It’s also insulting to the giver of the gifts. And I for one believe that sexual pleasure is “one of” God’s greatest gifts to us. (though that may be hard to believe if you were matched and then married because then your marriage is more about duty and not necessarily the kind of natural love that automatically bonds two hearts, and thus desire,  together.)So, if that’s what marriage is about, a couple taking the best love and commitment they have for each other to God, making it an offering to Him and asking for his blessing on it, then “Why didn’t SMM marry Myung Hee? Why did he have sex with her outside the sanctity of marriage? Why didn’t they wait for SMM divorce to become a legal finality and then take their relationship to God, offer the purity of their love to Him and ask for His blessing on their union?” If you were told by your parents or church leaders that SMM believed he was married to Myung Hee in the eyes of God then ask yourself this, “Why then would he get her pregnant when his family, his community and his country could not have known he thought he was married in the eyes of God since he didn’t have the public ceremony that invites everyone to witness the marriage? By getting her pregnant without the public wedding ceremony he put her and their child in a position to be ostracized and rejected by society. Do you honestly think God wanted that? If Myung Hee was raped by a Japanese soldier then why would she go to Japan to give birth to SMM’s son….because we know it wasn’t the son of some Japanese soldier. SMM admitted that Hee Jin was HIS son.Do you really KNOW SMM? Or, could it be that you only know what you’ve been taught and accepted it without investigation and critical thinking?

  1. whatisonthemoon reblogged this from trueandgoodfamily and added:
    Linda Feher follows up on my question (which I read somewhere) about why there wasn’t a “Marriage of the Lamb” ceremony...
  2. trueandgoodfamily posted this
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